Perspective

Couldn't do well in my 10th grade, but I always had an excuse, not only to convince my parents but also to console myself. I always had that positive kind of attitude all throughout my life and that time, I used to think and even used to say to my parents “who the hell would ask for my 10th grade marks? Its 12th grade exam that would decide our career and I would definitely do well in my 12th grade." Even though I couldn’t do well in any of the test exams in 12th grade but still it never bothered me and was damn confident that I would perform in the final exam. 

But unfortunately couldn’t do well in my 12th grade final exams either. Even that time, I had a very logical excuse “Once I get admission in a good engineering college, who would ask for my 12th grade marks? I would definitely perform in the upcoming engineering entrance exams" Those excuses always made me feel good, as well as relaxed and I also was able to convince my parents to some extent. That time I and some of my friends couldn’t think beyond an engineering career, may be our thinking and knowledge was very limited. We believed that the engineering entrance exams were the real exams for us, which would decide our career. But it was a kind of nightmare, when I didn’t perform in the entrance exams as well. Forget about reputed engineering colleges, I couldn’t manage a seat even in our state engineering colleges. 

That was the time when I and some of my friends came back to the real world from our fantasy world. The kind of marks we obtained in the final exam, we couldn't have got admission in some of the well known general colleges in our state. In fact, we never tried anywhere and we took admission in the one and only degree Science College in our hometown, where the door was open for everyone, irrespective of whatever percentage he/she scored in the 12th grade. That was some kind of depression phase for us, but since we always had a very positive attitude, we thought "Perhaps, we are fortunate enough not to get admission in any damn engineering college this time. We have enough time to prepare and next year we would definitely get admission in top engineering colleges"

We stopped attending lectures after a couple of months and decided to prepare for our entrance exams. We tried to work hard but it was quite painful and boring to study the same thing again and again. That was the time when I had the opportunity to make new local friends, other than my old KV (Kendriya Vidyalaya) friends.  We used to meet in the evening in some well know and slightly isolated hangout places, where we could spend a couple of hours freely. We used to gossip and had tea, along with those cigarette puffs. One day, one of my friend’s father saw our gang together and he even noticed us smoking. The next day, my friend said to us that his father was quite upset after he saw us the previous evening. He heard his father, when he narrated the incident to his mom. His father said “these kids have spoiled themselves. They never study and every now and then used to smoke cigarettes. Very soon, they would start to drink."

I seriously thought "are we really spoiled?"

Time passed by and in the "Durga Puja" vacation, most of my friends who got admission in different engineering colleges, as well as some other colleges, were in town. We had a great time and we used to meet daily.  My friends used to discuss about their new colleges, the ragging stories, hostel incidents and of course about their college babes. We usually used to gather in the evening, in those little isolated kind of hangout places. We used to have tea and cigarettes and used to gossip for hours. Unfortunately one of my friend’s father saw us in that condition and the next day, my friend narrated us, how his father told his mom about the incident. 

His father said "today, while coming from office, I saw Baba and his friends. Those guys have really become smart after joining engineering college"

His mom replied "why, what happened?"

His father said "Nothing, their attitude have changed, they looked different and I noticed them smoking cigarettes"

Initially, it was little difficult for me to digest those words. But later I thought “what else the uncle could have said? He couldn't have said that the guys are spoiled, as they already got admission in reputed engineering colleges. I was little happy that time and wondered “we are not actually spoiled, it's just a matter of time."