Some People Are Very Serious

‘Hey Bhaiti! I’ve heard that your class 12th board results are out’

‘Yes Aunty, but my performance is really bad’

‘It’s OK dear, what’s the total percentage you got?’

‘Please leave it aunty, it’s not good enough’

‘C’mon, you know results really doesn't matter. If one is really talented then he will definitely go quite far. You can really tell me how much you scored’

‘Sorry Aunty. I'm really feeling shy and it’s genuinely not good enough’

‘C’mon …’

The conversation continued for some time and then ultimately I had to  reveal my disaster.

'Oh No! So less? Your parents must be so upset, I really feel sorry for them'

I wanted to give her a deadly punch over the phone itself, but I simply disconnected the call. I knew it very well that she seriously suffered from the seriousness disease. 

‘Unki condition Bohut Hi Serious Thi’ and I didn’t say her anything rude.

On the other hand one of my good friends from a different school scored 84%, but his parents weren't very happy, as they expected him to top which he couldn't. Why some parents are so damn serious? Somehow I managed to get admission in an Engineering college. I really don't want to comment anything about how much engineering I learned during my 4 years of college, but I thoroughly enjoyed my life like hell. It made me bold enough, damn caring and much more confident in life. After my college days I was prepared enough for any damn challenge. I also managed to get a job in software development. Well, I didn't have another choice, but the industry is open to all. If someone can't manage to get a job anywhere else, they should definitely try their luck in software and they wouldn’t be disappointed. The work is usually cool, but during the appraisal time, suddenly  everyone seems to suffer from the seriousness disease. Every year the management usually have some real hard time to cure this epidemic disease at various levels.

I used to stay in an apartment along with few of my college friends. We tried to continue our hostel kind of life out there as well. Every evening the house used to come alive once everyone returned from office. I just loved to listen heavy metal in little louder volume, specially whenever I was in mood. Well, usually most of the time I was pretty much in mood. Our adjacent neighbor had some serious problem with us. They had got a joint family with Husband, Wife and the Parents. The wife was beautiful and looked quite hot as well, but she was so damn irritating. Her smiling face immediately used to turn serious whenever she encountered any of us. Well,  I've no idea why some serious families hate the bachelors so much?

It was only 10 PM and that too it was a weekday. We were enjoying some wonderful time together. The big bottle was still half filled and one by one, everyone started to play our favorite tracks, from Guns N' Roses to Iron Maiden, from romantic Kishore Kumar songs to recent Bollywood blockbusters. Suddenly out of the blue someone knocked the door.

‘Hey guys! it would be really great if you could reduce the volume. Also please gossip among yourselves in a civilized manner. Actually, all good and decent people lives out here', the nearby uncle came and gave us those shits.

Some of us wanted to show the real engineer inside us, but few other sensible friends handled the situation deliberately. We already knew ‘Uncle Ki Condition Bohut Serious Hai’, the Uncle seriously suffered from seriousness disease. 

The neighbors were die-hard God fans and every morning they used to enjoy their favorite devotional songs in loud volume. Weekend mornings were quite irritating for us, but then we never had the habit of complaining. On one such occasion, I was so frustrated with those annoying holy sounds, that I opened the window and started to play some real fucking metal on my computer. I placed the loudspeakers just near the window and increased the volume. The Devilish melody was able to suppress those God sounds and I went back to sleep. After that incident, the early morning holy spirits never disturbed me any further. 

During the weekends and particularly whenever our apartment used to be jam-packed with guests, the seriousness of the neighbors were at peak and they kept visiting our door till dawn. Their seriousness was not only limited to that and sometimes it crossed beyond their threshold level. On such occasions early morning our landlord used to visit us. He used to ask us to vacate his house. I was quite disappointed that even our landlord also severely suffered from the same seriousness disease.

Years later we got matured with time, but it seemed many neighbors still severely suffered from the same old disease. One weekend I and Mriganka were enjoying at Sinha's place. As usual one of his neighbors wasn't very happy about our togetherness. Anyways, by that time we were pretty much used to such tragedies. We continued our party and after 1 AM we didn’t receive any further warning that night. But suddenly at 3 AM the doorbell rang and unfortunately for our nightmare, it was police that time.

‘Aap Logon Ki Condition To Bohut Serious Hai’ You guys are in big trouble. Everyone of you will have to undergo your medical tests. You guys are boozing at this odd hour and also disturbing the entire society. Come along with us, you morons’

‘Sir please, we didn’t do anything’

The condition of the police was very serious and after 10 to 15 minutes of negotiation, they finally settled for Rs 500 per head. As they were about to leave, we asked if we could continue our party.

One of the policemen smiled and said ‘As soon as I entered the house I noticed you guys weren't finished yet, the bottle was still not entirely empty. Well, you guys can continue, but we shouldn’t receive any more complains’

I felt little happy, at least, the condition of the policemen were not that critical. They didn't suffer so seriously from the seriousness disease.

Years later, one by one we got promoted from our bachelorhood. I realized that the society started to take me little seriously after that. When my wife got the good news, she consulted with a nearby hospital. The lady doctor out there looked happy, but she also got quite serious and asked my wife to immediately leave her job. Not only that, she even asked her to change our house, as we used to stay on second floor. She seriously asked her to avoid steps and shift to some other house on ground floor. My wife immediately consulted with one more doctor at Apollo Hospital. She was quite a well-know gynecologist with over 30 years of experience. She was pretty cool and asked her not to worry. She had a silent laugh when my wife asked her about shifting house. The doctor even told that she could very well continue her job and apply her maternity leave 15 days prior to the delivery.

We're blessed with a baby girl. Jia is now 2 years old and few months ago, we were little serious about her teeth. None of her teeth appeared even after we celebrated her first B'day. During those days we came across several people who seemed to have suffered from chronic seriousness disease. They used to terrorize us with their teeth Gyaans like "There's serious calcium deficiency in her. Some used to tell us about vitamin deficiency. But every time we visited the doctors, they seemed to be so cool. They used to say that everything was so normal about her and there's nothing to worry. For some babies teeth come up little late"

Later whenever we encountered such serious people, I used to ask them "Did you see any human being on earth without teeth?"

Well, they felt little embarrassed and usually used to change the topic.

When for the first time we noticed a tiny diamond inside Jia's mouth, we felt so happy. Well, it happened when she was on her 18th month. Now she got quite a few of them.

When Jia was 10 months old, Anjali joined back office. We had to keep her in a nearby creche for the entire day. Some serious people, particularly few very caring and sincere aunties were quite disturbed with that. Initially she cried a lot, but it didn’t take her much longer to adjust herself in such a friendly and lively environment. She made many new friends and she really enjoys her time out there. But still some people think that we’re cruel enough to keep our little angel in such a place. They seriously believe that we’re not good parents.


This post is written for Indiblogger’s "Condition Serious Hai!" contest, in association with Cadbury 5 Star